People Judge you based on 2 criteria when they first
meet you…
People size up in seconds, but what
exactly are they evaluating?
Harvard
Business School professor Amy Cuddy has been studying first impressions
alongside fellow psychologists Susan Fiske and Peter Glick for more than 15
years, and has discovered patterns in these interactions.
In
her new book “Presence ," Cuddy says
people quickly answer two questions when they first meet you:
- Can I trust this person?
- Can I respect this person?
Psychologists
refer to these dimensions as warmth and competence respectively,
and ideally you want to be perceived as having both.
Interestingly,
Cuddy says that most people, especially in a professional context, believe that
competence is the more important factor. After all, they want to prove that
they are smart and talented enough to handle your business.
But
in fact warmth, or trustworthiness, is the most important factor in how people
evaluate you. "From an evolutionary perspective," Cuddy says,
"it is more crucial to our survival to know whether a person deserves our
trust." It makes sense when you consider that in cavemen days it was more
important to figure out if your fellow man was going to murder you and steal
all your possessions than if he was competent enough to build a good fire.
While competence is highly valued,
Cuddy says it is evaluated only after trust is established. And focusing too
much on displaying your strength can backfire.
Cuddy
says MBA interns are often so concerned about coming across as smart and
competent that it can lead them to skip social events, not ask for help, and
generally come off as unapproachable. These overachievers are in for a rude
awakening when they don't get the job offer because nobody got to know and
trust them as people.
"If
someone you're trying to influence doesn't trust you, you're not going to get
very far; in fact, you might even elicit suspicion because you come across as
manipulative," Cuddy says. "A warm, trustworthy person who is also
strong elicits admiration, but only after you've established trust does your
strength become a gift rather than a threat."
No comments:
Post a Comment